“Do I have to?” How I got my kids to write thank-you notes without losing my mind
Let’s face it, kids are great—but it’s just not in their natures to write thank-you notes. It is, however, in grandma’s nature to want to receive thank-you notes written by kids. And, it is in mom’s nature to want to make grandma happy while not creating a power struggle with the kids.
After a few years of suffering through the pouting, stalling and whining, the kids and I were able to find a more pleasant way to make the thank-yous happen (using only an occasional bribe or threat).
Inspired? Create and share by tagging @hallmarkstores.
Keep the thank-you short and sweet
Most thank-you stationery is pretty tiny and will only accommodate a few sentences. And Grandma isn’t expecting the great American novel. By talking it out beforehand, the kids were able to come up with a few sweet words we all knew Grandma would love. I set the timer before one writing session, and my son was surprised to discover the whole process took less than 15 minutes.
Make it their own kind of thank-you
My youngest son, Danny, has always preferred creating artwork to writing words. He’d always enclose a drawing with his thank you. Grandma loved it and he enjoyed creating it. Using stickers, markers and other creative tools makes the task feel more like fun.
Use the thank-you as a teaching moment
It’s never too early to appeal to a kid’s growing sense of empathy. Once the boys were old enough to write, I’d appeal to them with, “It’s a little harder for Grandma to get around these days. But she still took the time to go out and find your Ghostbusters car. I’ll bet you can spend a few minutes writing a thank-you.”
Explain the logical benefits of saying “thank you”
Here’s one story I shared with my boys: When I was growing up, my Aunt Lyla would send me birthday cards with slots holding dimes. (And back then, those dimes added up to a lot of spending power!) One year, I didn’t write a thank-you. Guess what? She quit sending me the money cards.
I explained to the kids that Aunt Lyla wasn’t being mean. But when she didn’t receive a thank-you, she didn’t know if I even liked the money.
The big picture about thank-yous
I know of some families that find thank-you notes archaic or just too much trouble. It’s true that a phone call, email or text is a whole lot quicker and less stressful. But in a world in which kids can get almost anything “on demand,” taking time to show a little gratitude is good for everybody’s heart.
You may also like
See more-
Easter Easter basket ideas for all ages: DIY decorations, gifts and more
Excited to get hopping on those Easter baskets? We love to see it. And we love to inspire it, too! So we’ve put toget...
-
Care & Concern Planning together: End-of-life memory-making and memory-keeping
In 2019, I lost my father to cancer. When his tumor was discovered, we were bombarded by hospitals, tests and then, u...
-
Valentine's Day Ways to find comfort and hope when you’re grieving on Valentine’s Day (or support someone who is)
Grief is always hard, but especially on Valentine’s Day. From social media to stores to kids’ classrooms, it can feel...
-
Valentine's Day How to survive Valentine’s Day after a divorce or breakup
We know that ending a relationship can be extremely heartbreaking. It’s a very significant loss, and when Valentine’s...
-
Christmas Christmas wishes: What to write in a Christmas card
Get sample messages, tips and watch our new video guide to write the perfect Christmas card.
-
Kids Encouraging words for kids: Celebrating courage, kindness, confidence and teamwork
Though they be but little, kids have the power to change the world around them in big ways. They can do it by bein...
-
Kids Beyond texting: Teaching kids the art of letter writing
So often, it’s the littlest hearts and hands that have the biggest ideas, the hugest hopes, the greatest love. And...
-
Mother's Day What to write in a Mother's Day card
Chances are you know at least a few moms who deserve a shout-out on Mother’s Day. If you’d like some creative ideas f...
-
Valentine's Day Valentine messages: What to write in a Valentine's Day card
Back in the day, when you had to come up with a valentine for everyone in your class, it was enough just to sign your...
-
Father's Day Father's Day messages: What to write in a Father's Day card
Find just the right Father's Day message to tell Dad just how much you appreciate him.
-
Arts, Crafts & DIY Día de Muertos crafts to celebrate with family
The sweet smell of pan de muerto baking, colorful decorations and pictures selected with care, special memories being...
-
Parties & Entertaining Let’s get together: 11 party ideas for adults
I believe that the little moments are what really make life special. Don’t get me wrong—I love celebrating the “big” ...
-
Back to School Free printable lunch box notes to send them back to school with love
We all love sending our kiddos off to school with just a little extra love. Or a few encouraging words. Or sometimes ...
-
Summer What is Disability Pride Month?: Understanding its importance and finding ways to celebrate
The Americans with Disabilities Act was enacted July 26, 1990 and was the first law in U.S. history to protect people...
-
LGBTQ Pride party ideas and everyday celebration inspiration for the LGBTQ community
We all know that Pride Month is a wonderful time to celebrate and commemorate the LGBTQ community, but it’s certainly...
-
Card Ideas Card messages for kids: What to write in a kid’s holiday card and more
My 3-year-old was having a hard time at preschool drop-off. Dragging his feet. Asking to stay home. This went on a fe...
-
Birthday What to write in a birthday card
Some people have no problem coming up with what to write in a birthday card. Just hand them a pen and they’ll effortl...
-
Gifting 25+ “just because” gift ideas to show you care
I love giving gifts, and it’s easy to do it on birthdays and holidays. But when I really want to flex my gift-giving ...
-
Graduation How to support a new grad: Insights a year after graduating college
After years of hard work, pulling all-nighters and eating way too much greasy dining hall food, the feeling of walkin...
-
Mother's Day What to do when Mother's Day is Mothers' Day: How to celebrate two moms
We announced we were pregnant on Mother's Day. It was the first time my wife Cady and I realized we were about to be ...