Who doesn’t love being a Mom a good 85–90 percent of the time? There are the “Snuggle on the couch with a sleepy kid” times…the “My kid just ate asparagus—and liked it!” moments…and the “Wow! That excellent human came out of me!” days. With that in mind, we got our writers—all of whom came from mothers—to come up with funny Mother’s Day quotes. (Spoiler alert: Some are year-round funny motherhood quotes.) Savor ‘em, save ‘em, share ‘em with a mom friend! Enjoy!
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Only mom knows which way to slice a sandwich so the flavor doesn’t leak out.
Things that don’t exist: Bigfoot, unicorns, a gas station restroom that mom thinks is clean enough.
More mom magic quotes:
- Only a Mom can make you feel hugged over the phone.
- Not only can a mom work miracles, she can be finished before breakfast.
- Moms fart too, but you’d never know it.
Most moms are genuinely concerned that your friends might be leaving home without their jackets.
More mom wisdom quotes:
- Your mom was a kid once, who tried stuff, and regretted stuff, and learned stuff. That’s how she got to be so wise.
- When superheroes don’t know the answer, they ask their moms.
- Moms learn early that it’s hard to for a kid to scream with a mouthful of cookie.
- It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that both coffee and wine were invented by moms.
- If TV wasn’t supposed to be a babysitter, why is it so damn good at it?
All Moms go to heaven. Because they already did their time as elementary school field trip monitors.
My mom is a genius, and not just because she thinks I am.
More funny “to good for us” motherhood quotes:
- Always remember that your Mom used to clean up whatever came out of you.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? It’s a kid at the bathroom door while mom is trying to relax in the tub.
- You can never repay your mom, because she’ll always tell you to just get something nice for yourself.
Maybe buy your mom a nice bottle of wine. Because slightly drunk mom is really funny.
More Funny Mother’s Day quotes:
- If there ever was a day Mom deserves the bigger half of the cookie, it’s today.
- Do nothing on Mother’s Day to remind your mom how bad the delivery was.
- Maybe this Mother’s Day, you be the listener and let your mom be the talker.