If you struggle to accept what is

A pull quote from DaySpring contributing writer Kristen Strong that reads,

Statements that come out of my mouth during summer include: 

“Why can’t I grow magnolias?” 

“Why don’t we have live oaks ’round here?” 

“Is it asking too much to have crepe myrtles in my yard?!” 

These are reasonable questions except for one important fact: I live in the semi-arid, high desert town of Colorado Springs, Colorado. That means magnolias, live oaks and crepe myrtles are a no-go. In fact, at 7,200 feet above sea level, which is where my home sits, it’s hard to grow trees and flowers that are Colorado-climate appropriate, let alone those that aren’t.  

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @DaySpringCards.

Not long ago, a local friend of mine, Rachel, told me she was tired of fighting our regional weather to grow flowers herself. Therefore, she was considering having someone xeriscape her yard. 

I immediately responded with no small amount of drama and sarcasm, “No xeriscape, Rachel!! That’s the devil’s work!” 

She laughed good-naturedly at this, but in my heart I knew that Rachel had a more reasonable grasp on reality than I do. Like me, Rachel isn’t from Colorado. She’s from Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and she misses the abundant hydrangeas that grow with little to no effort there. However, in her own cost-benefit analysis, she considers that to conserve water, her own energy, not to mention money in her bank account, it’s probably wiser to accept the facts of our local ecosystem and let these facts guide her actions.  

Meanwhile, I keep googling “high desert gardenia varieties,” hoping one has magically been discovered since I last searched. 

Sometimes I pine for the known  

Sadly, I’m one who struggles to accept the facts in far more scenarios than just gardening. If I had a dime for every time I expressed a frustration over something I wanted to be true that wasn’t, I could buy my own house in the South and grow those humidity-loving plants. This is especially true when it comes to difficult relationships and difficult circumstances.  

For example, when someone has absolutely shown me who they are, but I’ve waved off these facts in favor of believing they are who I want them to be. Or, when devastating trials have slammed into me and my loved ones, and instead of facing them head on, I’ve pined for past seasons when life wasn’t so messy.  

Why do I do this? Because sometimes I’m convinced that the best life is only found in the past life. In the we-know-how-that-chapter-ends life. What’s ahead is scary, and I have no idea how things are going to go. 

I believe Ruth has something to teach those of us stuck in this place. As detailed in Ruth 1, Ruth lost her husband, as did her sister-in-law and mother-in-law. Losing these men, their mainstay of support, put all of these women at a terrible disadvantage. In spite of Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, pleading with Ruth to increase her odds of survival by returning to her parents’ home and remarrying in her native country, “Ruth clung tightly to Naomi” (Ruth 1:14 NLT). The passage goes on to say, “When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.” (Ruth 1:18 NLT)  

Ruth remained steadfast in the face of difficulties  

If you’re like me and struggle to face the reality of a difficult season, consider two things Ruth did here that can help us keep a healthy perspective:  

1. Ruth clung to her person. Ruth didn’t have much, but she had a close relationship with Naomi. Ruth remained loyal to Naomi and the God of Israel she learned about from her. In our own difficult seasons, you and I can cling to our people and our faith by rehearsing the reality of God’s truth with those who will encourage us in His presence and power. Here are some paraphrased verses that echo His promises: 

  • Because God is for me, not one soul can be against me. (see Romans 8:31) 
  • The Lord does not change. (see Malachi 3:6) 
  • Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (see Hebrews 13:8)  

 

Talking through our fears, failures and our faith with others reminds us that no matter the valley we’re in, God’s promises are the rock-solid ground we stand on. 

2. Ruth was determined to move forward. Ruth surely mourned her husband’s death and her eventual departure from her own, familiar country. At the same time, she steadfastly fixed her eyes on the unknown future because she knew Who controlled that future. She didn’t know what lay ahead, but she knew God did. She acted on her hope in  This put herself in prime position for God to redeem her and Naomi’s story, and He surely did. 

We can lament without having to stay stuck  

There’s not a thing wrong with pondering the past and our good memories. And lamenting our losses is a necessary part of the grieving process. But we don’t want to stay stuck in the past. At the right time, we want to accept what is and move forward. Favoring the facts of my faith over my flimsy feelings helps me do this. There’s no difficult reality we face that is outside the power of Christ.  

A black and white portrait of DaySpring contributing author Kristen Strong.

Kristen Strong is the author of several books including "Desperate Woman Seeks Friends" and "Girl Meets Change". She loves helping women who are lonely for friends find their friendship groove. Kristen and her US Air Force veteran husband, David, have three beloved adult children and live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Connect with her at kristenstrong.com.