Every woman has a hair story

I always take a selfie as soon as I get in the chair at my hair appointment. Most women take photos after, but it’s the before that makes me smile.

Most of the time, I arrive with my hair in a pineapple on top of my head. So, my stylist takes it down and fluffs it all out. And I stop. Just for a second. Because the woman looking back at me has a whole head of hair that tells a story.

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It started in January 2020.    

I cut it all off. Every bit of it. The big chop. I won’t pretend it wasn’t scary. There is something about a woman and her hair, we carry so much in it. Our memories. Our identity. Sometimes the version of ourselves we are finally ready to release.

I was starting a new chapter, and I needed the outside to match what I was becoming on the inside. So, I let it go. And then, that spring, the world went quiet in a way none of us saw coming. It was a hard, still season. But sometimes the stillest seasons are exactly where the growth happens—for my hair and, if I am honest, for myself.

Here is what nobody tells you about growth. It is not glamorous. It is patient, quiet, behind-the-scenes work. I had to learn to care for this hair from the inside out. I drank my water, really drank it. I paid attention to what I was putting in my body because, as a pharmacist, I know that what shows up on the outside almost always started on the inside. I stayed consistent on the days I didn’t feel like it. I protected it. I nurtured it. I gave it what it needed.

And then I waited.  

The waiting was the hardest part. There were whole months where I could not see one bit of progress, where I just had to trust that the care was doing something, even when the mirror refused to show it yet.

If you have ever grown your hair out, you know exactly what I mean. You know that awkward, in-between stage. The one where nothing lays right and nothing does what you want it to. I lived in that stage. More than once, I had the thought. But then I would remember the goal. I would remember what I was growing toward…and I would leave the scissors right where they were.

I had a hairstylist who knew exactly what she was doing, and I thank God for her. But she will tell you the same thing I will: she could only do her part. The rest was on me. I had to be committed. I had to show up.

Somewhere in there, I realized something.    

The very things that were growing my hair were the same things growing me. Water. Real, nourishing food. Patience with myself. Consistency, even when I couldn’t always see the results. The willingness to keep tending to something with faith, long before there’d be any proof it was working.

I wasn’t just taking care of hair. I was learning, finally, how to take care of me. These days, my hair is a whole conversation piece. It’s often the first thing people notice. People recognize me by it now—the big curls, the color, the way it shows up in a room before I even say a word.

Often people tell me my hair is “goals.” I always smile and say thank you. But what they are seeing is the destination. They never saw the journey. They didn’t see the big chop. The awkward in-between stages. The tears. The wash days. The patience it took to nurture something I could not yet see growing.

My hair is not goals. It is evidence.   

Evidence of every glass of water. Every kale salad and protein shake. Every patient month I kept showing up for myself. We all have a hair story. Mine just happens to be the story of my growth written in curls.

This summer, when I catch my reflection and the humidity has my hair big and full and glowing, I won’t just see a good hair day. I’ll see proof. Proof that quiet, consistent and behind-the-scenes care always shows up eventually.

It shows up in your hair. And, in time, it shows up in you. So, what’s your hair story? Because I promise you, it’s about so much more than hair.

Dr. Alisha Reed is a licensed pharmacist and a boy mom who is unapologetic about self-care. She is the creator of the REFILL Strategy, hosts the Your Self Care Prescription podcast, and is passionate about teaching women how to advocate for themselves.