Making new summer memories

Quote by Raya Reaves that says,

When I think about summer and friendship together, my mind immediately goes back to one particular day in college. I had gone back home to Austin for the summer from Los Angeles, where I was in school, and my two best girlfriends and I decided (very spontaneously) that we wanted to spend the day at a waterpark about an hour away.

One friend was supposed to work that morning. She called her manager pretending to have pink eye, only for her manager to tell her to come in anyway so she could “see it for herself.” My other friend wasn’t supposed to be driving her grandparents’ car, and when she told them where we were headed, they demanded she come home immediately.

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She hung up the phone…and off to the waterpark we went! Full of smiles and laughter. Looking back now, it sounds completely ridiculous. But at the time, it felt like freedom. We laughed the entire drive there. We spent the day floating in water, basking in the Texas heat with no real responsibilities other than figuring out what ride to get on next and where we would eat afterward.

To this day, we still talk about that summer like it happened yesterday. Back then, summer felt endless and full of adventure. Our lives revolved around late nights, spontaneous plans, movies, restaurants and crowded dance floors. Friendship felt effortless because proximity did most of the work for us.

As I’ve come to learn, though, adulthood changes a lot of things, including the rhythm of relationships. Now, in our mid-30s, our lives look very different. One friend is married. Another is raising her daughter solo. All of us live in different places, balancing careers, responsibilities, schedules and the emotional weight adulthood naturally brings.

We no longer have entire summers to spend together. Yet, in spite of that, these friendships feel even more meaningful now than they did back then. That’s why I’m so excited that this summer, we’re creating a new tradition together in Palm Springs. Two years ago, I purchased a second home there and, for the first time, I’m hosting a gathering there for a girls’ weekend.

I imagine opening the patio doors in the morning to the sight of palm trees swaying in the breeze, mountains resting quietly in the distance and the kind of sunrise that makes you slow down long enough to notice it. The pace feels calmer, softer and more intentional. If I’m being honest, I think that’s exactly what we need now.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started redefining what wellness actually means to me. For a long time, I thought wellness was mostly physical. You know…eating healthy, exercising, drinking enough water and getting enough sleep.

But lately, I’ve realized wellness is also emotional. It’s feeling safe and relaxed enough to exhale. It’s laughing with people who knew you before the world started demanding so much from you. It’s being around women who don’t require performance from you because they’ve already seen every version of you: the carefree version, the grieving version, the ambitious version, the overwhelmed version and the version still trying to figure things out.

Connection regulates us in ways we truly underestimate, and while I have no regrets, I do wish I realized this sooner. We’re older now, and these relationships no longer survive on convenience or proximity. They survive because we choose each other repeatedly, even across distance, changing seasons, marriages, careers and motherhood.

I also believe God knew I would need these women in every stage of my life. I think (and hope) they would probably say the same about me. Our summers may not look the way they once did. We aren’t racing off to waterparks anymore or squeezing into crowded clubs at midnight. But I’m happy to admit that these new traditions feel even more sacred.

This summer, I hope you give yourself permission to prioritize relationships that bring you peace and nostalgia. What could that look like for you?

 

Raya Reaves is the founder and finance coach of City Girl Savings, LLC. She teaches women how to create and stick to realistic budget plans to reach their financial goals. Raya resides in Austin, Texas, with her boyfriend and two Yorkie dogs.