Resolve to Show You Care: Make This a Kinder, Happier New Year

When it comes to caring, consistency is key. To keep the kindness flowing, spend an hour setting up your calendar, phone or virtual assistant—it’ll help reduce the mental load of remembering.

• Block time for caring. Set aside some time in your calendar for checking in on friends who might need encouragement, writing thank-you notes to co-workers or catching up with family members.
• Add notes to your contacts. Use the notes section in your phone’s contact files to add things you want to remember: important dates, favorite things, gift ideas, restaurants to try together.
• Remember big days. Set annual reminders on your phone or smart speaker so you don’t miss a chance to connect. Some ideas beyond birthdays: a partner’s work anniversary, the date a friend’s mother passed away, a nephew’s piano recital.

In our world of distractions, your undivided attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person. Listening makes people feel cared for—and helps you learn and remember what matters to them.

• Focus on a friend. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, close your laptop, and give your complete attention to the person talking.
• Just listen. Let go of the need you might have to give advice or solve problems. Resist the urge to interrupt with your own stories. Ask questions to keep the conversation about them.
• Affirm their feelings. Acknowledge their emotions. Accept their experiences and validate their reactions. It can be as simple as reflecting their emotions and body language.

We all have skills, talents and things to give. Maybe you’re a whiz at technology or a talented artist. Or you might have tools or supplies to lend or extra money to donate. Whatever you have, someone out there needs it.

• Schedule a donation. Visit your favorite charity’s website to set up a regular donation or time to volunteer. If you want to spread the love, set up your own reminder to give some time or money to a cause, school, church or person.
• Give what you’ve got. Look for ways to share. You might place warm coats, scarves and gloves where people experiencing homelessness can use them. Or get your kids to adopt a “get something, donate something” philosophy for toys.
• Share your talents. Choose a volunteer activity: Find an organization that needs your project management, DIY, networking, marketing or budgeting skills.

Want to feel happy, like, right now? Inject a little kindness into the world and lift someone up. It’s easy and it really works for everyone involved.

• Leave a big tip. More than 20%—maybe 30% or 50% or 100% or more. Bonus points for being generous when it’s clear the server is having a rough day.
• Be generous with compliments. Find something to like about everyone you encounter: their shoes, their laugh, their handwriting, the way they talk to kids. And tell them.
• Lend a hand. Decide to be the person who picks up the pen when someone drops it, holds a door open for the person with packages and always has a tissue or a cough drop to spare.

Remember, everyone has their own struggles and stressors. Sometimes, the best way to be caring is to give everyone some grace.

• Take a deep breath. Someone being rude? Lines moving slowly? Everyone around you making so much noise? Close your eyes, let your facial expression soften, take a slow breath in, and exhaaaaaaale.
• Let go of a grudge. Are you holding on to a slight or reliving a disagreement? It may not be hurting anyone but you. Whether you address the person or the issue directly or just decide not to let it take up space in your head, releasing anger can give you more energy to put into caring.
• Seek common ground. As unlikely as it sometimes seems, folks are more alike than different. We all love our families and friends, worry about their health and safety, and are just doing our best to get through life. Actively looking for what we share—instead of focusing on what separates us—may be the most significant caring thing we can do.