Why and How to Show You Care

From giving up your seat to a stranger who needs to sit down to bringing food to a friend or sitting with an ill parent, we’ve all had our moments of caring. And it’s likely you know someone who seems to live and breathe empathy and caring— you may even be that someone.
But what motivates any one of us to care about others? And of all the ways there are to care for people, why do we choose one way over another?
Because of recent events, this article has been updated. Look for new tips throughout in gray.
Inspired? Create and share by tagging @Hallmark.
We evolved to care for others
Science tells us that as a species, we evolved into more caring human beings—if we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have survived.
Alone, we were no match for the forces of nature. Raising and protecting babies who took years to mature required a collective effort. Our growing ability to cooperate and recognize when others needed help allowed us to work together at the business of surviving and, ultimately, to thriving. Taking care of each other is what got us here and it’s an innate part of who we are.
Even now, in the few remaining collaborative societies not based on money, everything is shared with everyone. No one is entitled to more resources than anyone else, and everyone is fed and cared for regardless of their ability to contribute. In these societies, taking care of others is the best way to ensure everyone will thrive.
We learned to keep caring
Today we could choose to avoid a great deal of direct human collaboration and connection. So why do we still care for others? What makes us want to be helpful to someone else, even if there’s nothing obvious in it for us? The answers are varied and wonderful.
Many people credit their parents, especially their mothers, as their inspiration. They were shown and told caring for others was the right thing to do.
As humans, we thrive when we have a strong sense of belonging to a group, and when we feel a connection to something bigger than ourselves. We suffer when we feel we don’t belong or we don’t feel connected. By caring for others we can experience a sense of purpose, fulfill a higher calling, and find our own place to belong.
And while much of the motivation for caring people report is altruistic—it’s simply what we are called to do—there are rewards: Caring for others feels good. It’s fulfilling. It improves our quality of life.
Feeling like we don’t belong can lead to depression, anxiety, and withdrawal, so the simple act of paying attention to one another remains a vital act of caring. When we feel heard we feel understood and can then better connect with someone else.
We care for others in different ways
When it comes to how we care, the ways we do it are as individual as we are. Some of us most enjoy giving or receiving gifts. For others, simply spending time with a friend or a loved one is enough to fill their tank. Performing unbidden acts of service says, “I care about you” without uttering a word. We can help lighten another’s load through shared laughter, a helping hand, or an out of the blue kindness.
Taking the time to listen deeply can make a difference in our sped-up world. Remembering important things about each other—their kids’ names, their vacation plans, their favorite shows—and asking about them the next time you talk, goes a long way towards making someone feel known and that they are important to you.
Caring, while often a very personal exchange, can also be exhibited by supporting causes through donations of time or money. Pitching in on a group effort can magnify the effects of your caring efforts and impact people’s lives in effective and even life-changing ways.
And, of course, there’s food! Making your family’s favorite dish, delivering food to a neighbor in good times and tough ones, and leaving small treats on a co-worker’s desk can all help nourish relationships in more ways than one.
Many are familiar with the five love languages and the different ways we give and receive love. While “physical touch” might be in shorter supply these days, there are many ways to give quality time, even if it’s only virtual/digital. And opportunities for giving gifts and performing acts of service and affirmation are popping up every minute. Keep an eye out for ways to donate time and attention to help those who need it the most right now.
Caring is who we are
It’s how we flourish. And it can be personally validating to be known as a caring person. We feed our own need for meaning and recognition as we help fill the needs of others. There’s really no downside to thoughtful caring—and the benefits are profound.
Remember that tough times can bring out the best in us. And even though we might not gather in person as often, there are many ways to be together—even from a distance.
You may also like
See more-
Valentine's Day What to Write in a Valentine's Day Card
Hallmark writers offer up inspiration to help you find just the right loving words to add when you sign a valentine.
-
Family How to Support Foster Families
It’s so exciting when someone you know welcomes a child into their lives, whether by birth, adoption, or fostering...
-
Kids Words of Encouragement for Kids
Whether they’ll fess up to it or not, kids like a pat on the back…especially from their parents. Looking for...
-
Faith How to Start a Prayer Chain
Praying is one of the most ancient of human practices, and to this day, billions of people still believe in its po...
-
Encouragement Comforting Words: What to Say and Do in Tough Times
When someone we know suffers a loss or is going through a difficult situation, we’re often not sure what to say. S...
-
Kwanzaa Kwanzaa Wishes: Connect with a Kwanzaa Card
Kwanzaa, a festival of lights rich in African symbolism, takes place each year from December 26th through January ...
-
Hanukkah Hanukkah Wishes: What to Write in a Hanukkah Card
Hanukkah is a lighthearted festival filled with rich traditions, many of which include food, fun, family and frien...
-
Kids Share the Love: Teaching Kids about Kindness
As parents, we want our children to understand concepts like empathy and kindness. We want to
-
Birthday What to write in a birthday card
When it comes to signing birthday cards...
-
Mother's Day What to Write in a Mother's Day Card
Tell her just how much she means using this guide from Hallmark writers.
-
Card Ideas Envelope Addressing Etiquette
You’ve already written your letter or picked out the perfect card—all that’s left is to address the...
-
Wedding What to write in a wedding card
Imagine yourself in the parking lot walking in to your friend’s wedding reception—pen in hand, neck...
-
Care & Concern Resolve to Show You Care: Make This a Kinder, Happier New Year
Show you care. It’s the one resolution that can improve your relationships, make you happier and healthier, and cr...
-
Care & Concern What is Self-Care?
You’ve no doubt heard the term “self-care,” but what is it, exactly? Self-care is anything you do intention...
-
Lifestyle Self-Care Quotes - Because You Deserve Them
Self-care is trending these days, but the idea is not new. You hear it at the beginning of every big journey...
-
Care & Concern Make a Connection: Ways to Be There When People Need You
It’s the stuff the strongest friendships are made of: supporting each other through good and bad, being grateful f...
-
Christmas Christmas Wishes: What to Write in a Christmas Card
Get sample messages, tips and watch our new video guide to write the perfect Christmas card.
-
Kids How to Teach Kids about Giving
It’s Christmas, and the easiest way to get into the holiday spirit is a little goodwill-sharing. But finding ways ...
-
Card Ideas What to Write in a Wedding Thank-You Note
Got a big stack of wedding thank-you notes to write? Get ideas from Hallmark writers to help take you from dreading i...
-
Thank You What to write in a thank-you card
Express your gratitude with these thank you messages and ideas from Hallmark card writers.