You are already so beautiful, Sis

Quote that says,

I was in that place where women go on the weekend to get their hair cut and colored, to cover the roots and dye the grays, to primp the curls and straighten the strands:

The salon.

There I was, waiting and mindlessly scrolling on my phone, when a woman came and sat in the empty chair next to me. She mumbled something under her breath and made motions with her hands. She spoke louder and then louder again. I ignored her and kept scrolling on my phone. I was tired, and I didn’t want conversation. I just wanted to get in, get my hair done and get out. But the woman wouldn’t stop mumbling under her breath and pointing at all the other women and young girls in the salon.

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So, I listened. I looked away from my phone and paid attention. “Her hair is so nice,” the woman said. “All you ladies are so beautiful, just beautiful,” she said. “Everyone here has beautiful hair.” Then she finally slid into her chair and sat quietly, waiting to be called for her hair to be washed. 

Saturdays at the salon are sacred. 

It’s where women and young girls gather, all bearing bare faces and bare beauty. It’s a sacred place where woman show up with their hair undone and unkempt, showing off every kink or curl or pin-straight strand. It’s where woman sit, vulnerable, at the hands of another. It’s where woman expose the true texture of their hair, all the thickness and the thinning out, all the bald spots and every ringlet that’s ever been called bad.

When it was my turn, a hairdresser tapped me on the shoulder. She motioned for me to come and sit in her chair. Then she unwrapped the towel covering my hair and ran her fingers through my thick mane. She dried my hair, pulling a bristle brush through it, section by bulky section. “I am beautiful,” I thought to myself, hearing the woman’s echoes from earlier. 

That’s what Saturdays at the salon are all about. Self-care. Saturdays at the salon offer, even if only for a short while, moments to remember that we are beautiful, beloved and that we belong. Everything about us is beautiful—the width of our hips, the texture of our hair, the tone of our skin, the length of our eyelashes, and the swell of our curves.

You might have cut and colored your hair, stepped out in style, bought the bag or purchased the purse. You might be drinking more water and eating more vegetables. You might be moving your body more or counting your steps. But don’t forget the fact that you are already so beautiful, sis. You are beautiful in your bareness. You belong, just as you are. 

On the days or weeks or months when you feel like you are showing up undone, unkempt and unruly, know that you do not have to primp and perfect yourself to be accepted and loved by others. 

You can come and sit, with all your color and culture, all your hair texture and taste in style that makes you who you are. Without looking around to compare, without looking around to compete, you can simply come and be. 

Rachel Marie Kang is the author of "Let There Be Art" and "The Matter of Little Losses." She writes in poignant prose on themes of culture, art and faith. Rachel lives in the New York metro with her husband and two sons. Find her work and words at rachelmariekang.com.