Real Stories: Supporting Friends with Cancer & Illness
“Despite the negative impact of cancer and the suffering, I have never felt as loved and cared about by so many. It has stayed with me. It made me realize how wonderful it would be if we all let people know how important they are in our lives—how special they are—before something bad happens to wake us up to start showing how we feel.” —Leslie M.
A diagnosis can change a family’s journey in an instant. Priorities shift and the way they measure time starts to change. The road can be long. When it comes to navigating these experiences, the support of friends and family is key. Although there’s sometimes pressure to say or do the exact “right” thing, as long as you say or do something, your gesture will mean more than you know.
Inspired? Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores.
What to do for a friend with cancer or illness
“Support came from everywhere: cards, flowers, food, gifts, calls and friendship. A nurse who was with me when I got more bad news was able to see the exhaustion on my face and in my body language. She gave me a prayer of sorts that had such an uplifting message that I turned to it over and over again. I gave it to my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer, too, and have shared it with so many people who are going through difficult times. It still speaks to me and I keep a small copy in my wallet.” —Leslie M.
- Check in consistently—and spread out the TLC. When the dust settles and the newness of a tragedy fades, families can sometimes feel forgotten, especially if their journey lasts for months or years. Save up and share your support later on, because that’s often when people need it most. Offer to feed or walk their dog, pick up a grocery order, gift the family a housecleaning service or grab them something while you’re out running errands.
“Along the way, it was important for us to celebrate all the benchmarks, even the little ones.” —Megan Z.
- Honor each milestone. Find ways to help them celebrate along the way (final chemo, “new 1st birthday,” going home from the hospital, good news or reaching a recovery goal). Send uplifting decorations for their hospital room or home, or create and share a celebratory playlist for them to listen to.
“One friend started a meal train for me, where I got several nights a week off of cooking. Another friend texted me to say ‘Please put a cooler on your porch next week. We will be supplying dinner every night. XO.’” —Mo S.
- Take care of the caregiver, too. In many cases, they are likely neglecting their own comfort or health in order to support their loved one. Consider care packages of snacks, delivered meals, books, magazines, gift cards or games. Extra credit if you can bring the caregiver a healthy snack (desserts are delicious, but may not help keep up their energy).
What to say to a friend with cancer or a serious illness
“People often looked at us with pity, but we just wanted to laugh and have normal conversation.” —Megan Z.
- Make them laugh. Send the funny meme. Forward the silly photo. Lighthearted distractions are appreciated.
“We were all shocked by the intensely personal and heartfelt messages people sent to us. All of them lifted the veil of time, distance and even lost friendships. Each word touched our hearts and lifted us up and helped us get through the long days at the hospital.” —Chris G.
- Tell them you care, you love them, and that you’re sending good energy or prayers. These phrases may seem overdone, but families never forget those who lifted their spirits during the long journey. Conversely, avoid saying that everything happens for a reason or that everything will be OK.
“Friends would tell me, ‘We’re on your team. Keep up the fight!’ Their support was a shot in the arm. I couldn’t believe, with how busy people’s lives are these days, that so many people found the time to show us they cared.” —Mike M.
- Simply ask “How is today?” Instead of requesting a full health report, which can become tiresome for the caregiver, just be with them in the here and now. For many families, the journey isn’t just day by day; it is often managed hour by hour or minute to minute.
“It was a long haul with a lot of lows. I had to reach out when I was so low I couldn’t see a way forward. Someone listening as I worked through the moment of depression and pain gave me the energy to keep going.”
—Leslie M.
- Tell them you will be their “person.” Remind them that in their darkest moments when they don’t want to bother anyone and don’t know who to talk to, you want to be the one they call.
Shop Care & Concern
You may also like
See more-
Christmas What Your Tree Says About You: Star Wars Edition
If you’re a Star Wars™ fan, this is a must-watch video.
-
Friends 50+ fun things to do with friends
It’s hard to describe in only a few words how amazing I feel when I’m with my friends, but I’ll try: Inner child comf...
-
Christmas 6 festive Christmas punch recipes for a very merry crowd
Make everyone merry with these five holiday drinks
-
Drinks Fruit punch that’s perfect for a party
Who among us doesn't remember being a kid and chugging a giant glass of cold fruit punch on a warm summer day? Whe...
-
Drinks Christmas Eve eggnog punch
There are several variations to this eggnog punch, allowing you to customize it to your taste buds. We started with e...
-
Drinks Warm and comforting wassail punch
Nothing sets a warm holiday mood like wassail—a fancy mulled cider. The tang and tannins of the fresh fruit, the warm...
-
Drinks Sparkling pomegranate punch perfect for any party
We've created a spritzer-like cocktail to serve a crowd with Red Zinger tea, pomegranate juice and chilled Prosecco. ...
-
Thanksgiving 4 free printable Thanksgiving activities for the kids table
The kids’ table is the place to be at Thanksgiving: all the fun and none of the responsibility. And because sometimes...
-
4th of July Free printable 4th of July decorations
Most of our ideas for summer entertaining include the words "casual" and "easy." But on patriotic holidays, we gotta ...
-
Drinks Warm up a holiday crowd with this hot rum punch
Every guest will feel special when you serve them a steaming mug of delicious hot rum punch, topped with a grilled pi...
-
Drinks Mix up this mulled wine holiday punch for a festive gathering
Pomegranate seeds add a holly-berry touch to this mulled wine and citrus punch. Any spicy red wine can serve as the f...
-
Gifting The Office gifts and decor make WFH way more fun
From 9-5, our favorite show is The (Home) Office. 💼 📄 Add some fun to WFH with products and decor from The Office, av...
-
Baby Watch them grow: Our favorite monthly baby photo ideas
Of course you’re going to capture a gazillion photos during your baby’s first year. But there’s something about snap...
-
Summer Vegetable stamping: How to make simple, modern prints with produce
There are so many reasons to try fruit and vegetable stamping: It's surprisingly creative. It's easy. It uses stuff y...
-
Baby 40+ baby photoshoot ideas, tips and tricks from Hallmark photographers
You have the cutest baby in the world. There’s no contest. It’s not even a question. But what you might not have are ...
-
Christmas Step right up and see the Seaside Carnival Keepsake Ornament
Get ready for all the sights and sounds of Santa’s Seaside Carnival! Santa and Mrs. Claus are ready to greet visitors...
-
Friends Friendship messages: What to write in a friendship card
Whether it’s your friend’s birthday or just any old day, sending a card is a great way to bring a smile and nurture ...
-
Card Ideas 17 ideas for saving your favorite cards and letters
If you’ve got a shoe box full of old cards and letters, you’re definitely not alone. People have been stashing away m...
-
Birthday Free birthday coloring pages to add more fun to the celebration
The best birthdays are the ones filled with lots of little treats and fun activities, from sunup to sundown. If you’r...
-
Family Tips and ideas for preserving and displaying family recipes
Family recipes are a special kind of priceless heirloom—the kind that transport us back to our favorite times with ou...