When you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop

The rutted roads of my thought life try to convince me that God is holding out on me, that the shoe dropping is a matter of when, not if. But in order to abandon those potholed pathways in favor of new thoughts, I need to take the extra step to speak God’s Word out loud with my actual voice.

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A few weeks ago after church, I ran into a friend of mine, Charity, in our church’s bathroom. We greeted one another, and then Charity kindly said she liked my dress. Breezing by her on my way to the stall, I said, “Oh, thank you so much!” Then, I suddenly stopped, turned around, and added,

“Honestly? I’m wearing it because the past week had been one of the hardest of my life. So, in an effort to feel better on the inside, I decided to spruce myself up on the outside.”

I smiled weakly then walked into a stall.

She responded with encouragement I very much appreciated, and then another friend, Angie, piped up from another stall, “Ya know, Kristen, I like that!”

Wearing a dress to feel better is by no means prescriptive, but I suppose on this particular Sunday it was my way of tangibly putting on hope.

The week before, you see, my husband and I found ourselves in the bullseye of difficult, damaging circumstances. Just as I started to feel more like a person who would get through them, a second event knocked me right over. These personal conflicts occurred against the backdrop of major international conflict, too. As the wife of a USAF veteran, and as a woman with loved ones in the military, my heart is always tender towards our military service men and women and their families, especially in times like these.

All this brings me to a few nights ago when, up at 2:17 a.m. and unable to go back to sleep, my mind asked on a loop:

“What’s going to happen next?”

In other words, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  

I’ve been there before, reeling from bad news and bracing for the next round’s impact. During those times, the words I rehearse inside my head sound a lot like this:

  • What if things get worse?
  • I’m destined to feel anxious from here on out.
  • If I begin to enjoy life again, something bad will happen.

Plumb tired from walking through my days with the ice-cold feelings of dread, I realize I have to do something beyond wearing a dress on Sundays to lean into God’s promise that He came to give me life in abundance (John 10:10 CSB).

And that’s when I came across these words by Susie Larson in her book, “Waking Up to the Goodness of God”:

“Did you know that in some places in Scripture, the word meditation means to mumble, speak, and even roar God’s Word out loud? God instructed the Hebrew people to keep His Word on their lips (Joshua 1:8), not just in their thoughts.”

As one who has an inner critic as loud as a football stadium, I know how the words we tell ourselves matter. Research shows that our brains always prefer traveling on well-worn pathways, so it takes intentional effort to create pathways to new thoughts. The rutted roads of my thought life try to convince me that God is holding out on me, that the shoe dropping is a matter of when, not if. But in order to abandon those potholed pathways in favor of new thoughts, I need to take the extra step to speak God’s Word out loud with my actual voice.

This is Holy Week—when Christians everywhere remember that Jesus endured the cross so we could walk in the light of new life in Him. Before Jesus died and rose, however, He had a final meal (known as the Last Supper) with His disciples. During that meal, Jesus tells the disciples not to let their hearts be troubled, which is rather remarkable given what He’s about to face. As I learned from a Bible teacher, this is known as the greatest moment in Christian counseling. You see, for those present in that room, the circumstances are as bad as they could get. Each and every one of those men, except perhaps for Judas, waited for the other shoe (or sandal) to drop. Yet Jesus tells them, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me” (John 14: NLT).

So when we want peace during days when dread threatens to overwhelm?  

“Trust in God, and trust also in Me.”

This is what I’m saying out loud as I get dressed, take a shower, walk the dog, and get my mail. This is what I’m rehearsing as I get groceries, make dinner, clean dishes, and wipe counters.

This is what I tell myself at 2:17 a.m. or p.m. or whenever dread crouches in front of me.

It’s no instant cure, of course. But it is a redirection that multiples belief within me to take Jesus at His word. And in this simple act, I dwell on expecting Him to see me through these current troubles just as He’s seen me through 100% of my past troubles.

He will surely do the same for you.

Don’t let dread steal God’s goodness found today for a fictional problem of tomorrow. Because even if the shoe does drop, God is infinitely bigger than any problem it brings.

Lies hiss, but truth hushes. Do not be troubled, dear one. Trust, believe, and receive.

A black and white portrait of DaySpring contributing author Kristen Strong.

Kristen Strong is the author of several books including "Desperate Woman Seeks Friends" and "Girl Meets Change". She loves helping women who are lonely for friends find their friendship groove. Kristen and her US Air Force veteran husband, David, have three beloved adult children and live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Connect with her at kristenstrong.com.