A bridal shower is such a happy and exciting occasion. Nothing beats the feeling of having friends and family gather close to shower you with gifts and good wishes as you set out on your journey into married life.
Of course, receiving lots of gifts all at once means having a long list of thank-you notes to write. But not to worry—this is completely doable, even for a bride-to-be busy planning a wedding or a newly married couple working on getting settled. All you need is love…and a little strategy.
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Below, we’ll get into some nuts-and-bolts tips for writing your bridal shower thank-you notes, but first, it may help to pause and remind yourself why your shower thank-you notes matter. This is your chance to reflect the time and thought someone put into giving you a gift with a little time and thought of your own. It’s your way of saying, “Thank you for caring about me. I’m grateful for you!”
- Timing: For big life events like a bridal shower or a wedding, etiquette guides give you a longer window to get your thank-you notes written and sent. Aim to get yours in the mail within three months after your shower. And do future you a big favor by getting your shower thank-you notes written before the wedding, which will bring a whole new batch of gifts…and more thank-you notes to write.
- Length: Thirty to sixty words. Three to five sentences. Those aren’t hard-and-fast rules—just guidelines to help you say enough, without going on and on.
- Addresses: In a world where most of us don’t send as much physical mail as people once did, you might need to track down a few addresses. The person who planned your shower will be a good resource, especially if they’ve just mailed invitations to all your shower guests. After checking with them, don’t hesitate to reach out via phone, text or social media to ask for addresses.
- Writing Sessions: You want to sound grateful, not annoyed by writing cramps, so limit your thank-you writing sessions to five to ten notes or two hours—whichever comes first. It will be much easier on you to write five notes a day over six days, as opposed to thirty notes in one day.
- Language: Wedding shower thank-you notes don’t need to be stiff or formal, especially for people you know well. If you use humor and casual language to communicate with your recipient in everyday life, then feel free to do the same when writing them a wedding shower thank-you.
A good general plan for a shower thank-you is to:
1. acknowledge the gift,
2. elaborate on why you like it or how you’ll use it,
3. compliment the giver and make a personal connection, and
4. say thanks again.
Thank you for the “Cooking for Two” cookbook you gave me for my bridal shower. I’ve been flipping through, and I can’t wait to try so many of the recipes—especially the cranberry-orange chicken! I’m so glad we had the chance to talk and catch up at the shower. Thanks for being there!
Dear Aunt Kelly,
Thank you so much for the elegant pair of champagne flutes. Such a fun shower gift to get! I’ll think of you every time Quinn and I toast with them. Cheers! (And thanks for being such a wonderful aunt!)
Helpful tip: Here are a few questions to help you say more than just “Thanks for the wall clock!”: How did you feel when you opened the gift? What plans do you have for it?
Why is this a good choice for you? How will the gift make some part of married life easier, nicer or better?
Whether you truly adore it or not so much, you can still sincerely thank someone for their thoughtfulness in getting you a gift.
Just a quick note to tell you how much I appreciate your shower gift. I was thrilled when I opened the personalized art print. It’s SO our style, and I can’t wait to find the perfect spot for it in our new apartment. It was great spending time with you at the shower. Thanks so much for being there!
Hi, Laura and Yolanda:
I’m so grateful for the beauty and skincare subscription box! Do you two know me or what? It’s going to be so much fun getting those little surprises in the mail over the next few months. Thanks for being part of my bridal shower. Y’all are great friends!
Helpful Tip: Need a good word to describe the gift? How about one of these: thoughtful, wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous, fabulous, fantastic, elegant, perfect, generous, awesome, amazing, touching, heartwarming, one-of-a-kind, unique, creative, handy, much-needed, practical.
Guests tend to give more physical gifts at a shower, but you’ll probably still receive some gifts to spend on whatever you choose. If you have specific plans for the money or gift card, it’s great to mention them, but not strictly necessary. Rather than stating the specific amount of money given, you can just refer to the generous gift or gift card.
I’m so grateful for the generous gift card you gave me for my bridal shower. Avery and I are needing some lawn and garden care equipment to go with our new home, and this will help so much. It means a lot to know you’re thinking of me and wishing me well at such a special time in my life. Thank you again for your thoughtfulness!
Lots of love,
Dear Mrs. Hayden,
Thank you very much for the thoughtful shower gift. I’m touched and grateful. For now, I’m saving it for a rainy day, but I know we’ll be able to put it to good use. Thanks again for your generosity as Jack and I are starting out together!
Helpful Tip: Double-check that you’re using the correct form and spelling of your recipients’ names. When in doubt about what level of formality to use, opt for your recipient’s last name with the correct title (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr.).
Making your wedding shower happen is a gift in itself, and that calls for a thank-you note, whether the hostess or helper gives you a separate gift or not.
I was beyond thrilled with the bridal shower you hosted for me! Thank you for opening your home, and for all the the time and effort you put into making it so special. From the laughs to the games to the food (that quiche!), it was a celebration I’m always going to remember fondly. Thank you, Friend.
Lots of love,
Wow! I’m blown away by all your help with my shower. It’s hard to pick a favorite moment from such a fun afternoon—but one would definitely have to be reading all the warm wishes you had everyone write in the guest book. Just one of your many great touches. Thank you, thank you. You really outdid yourself, and I appreciate it!
Helpful Tip: If your shower hostess is your soon-to-be mother-in-law or sister-in-law, you could mention in your thank-you message that you’re looking forward to being family.
Showers, parties and pre-wedding prezzies are not just for brides anymore. For a gift received at a celebration for both of you, plan to share the thank-you-note writing work.
Dear Max and Jenn,
Thank you for the awesome mixology set you gave us for our couples shower! You’ll have to come over soon and show us how to make Jenn’s famous mojitos. We definitely need to raise a toast to the two of you for being such good friends!
Maria and Ash
Dear Mom and Dad,
Just wanted to tell you how grateful we are for the gorgeous engagement party gift. We love the crystal bowl, and it will always remind us of how much it means to have your caring and support in our lives. Thank you for being amazing parents…and soon-to-be in-laws!
Drew and Kit
Helpful Tip: A few possible ways to divide the thank-you-note labor:
1. Each of you write to the friends and family members you’re bringing to the relationship.
2. One of you does all the note writing. The other does all the addressing, stamping and mailing.
3. One of you does all the note-writing work. The other gives on-demand massages and makes dinner.
Getting bored with the phrase “thank you”? Here are some other ways to say it:
- “I really appreciate…”
- “I’m so grateful for…”
- “Your shower gift means a lot to me.”
- “I’m deeply thankful for…”
- “You really blessed me [by coming to my shower/with your wonderful gift].”
- “Wow! The [cashmere throw] you gave me is just perfect!”
- “It really warmed my heart when I opened [the quilt you made].”
- “I was touched by your thoughtful gift.”
- “You really outdid yourself!”
- “You couldn’t have picked a better gift for me.”
- “I’ll always cherish [the beautiful vase].”
- “I’m blown away by your generosity!”
- “The [picnic backpack] is perfect! You know me so well.”
- “I love the [weekend bag]! We’ll think of you every time I [travel with it].”
A warm closing before your signature adds a nice finishing touch. Choose one of ours, or come up with one of your own.
- Warmest thanks,
- With thanks,
- With heartfelt thanks,
- With love,
- Lots of love,
- Love always,
- Much love to you,
- All my love,
- Love you,
- All the best,
- God bless,
- Yours truly,